the thrill, the let-down, the need for chocolate…

I got started on a bunch of projects in the past week, after my Super-Bowl escape-hatch trip to Beverly’s. I like to read craft and sewing mags (see photo for current reading). In the current issue of Quick Stuff to Sew (a Threads publication), there’s this dishy skirt made of torn strips of wool tweeds. It is *delectable* and a green-type sewing project, since it uses these torn bits. I happen to have a lot of quilt fabrics, thanks to the generosity of Facebook and Freecycle friends. I have black and white fabric. I could make that skirt in cotton, for free…

And so it begins. I found all the fabrics by looking through (many) drawers and boxes. Prewashed and ironed them all. Ripped them to apropriate lengths and widths. Found a zipper in the bottomless notions box. Sewed the zipper part first. Sewed the strips together. Decided black and white was not working for me, so added in red strips. Measured the waistband and…SKREECH!

This is where it gets ugly. Erm…I’ve put on a few pounds. Not a ton, not even that much. But easily 10 pounds in the last year, and a total of 20 in the past 3 years (since we got married). So believe you me, I was none too happy to see what my waistline had become. No, I have not sewn myself anything with a waistband in some time, thank you. Let’s just call it a nasty wakeup call, and push the chocolates away…

So (deep sigh), I added the waistband. I attempted to fit the skirt to the waistband, which did not work as nicely as the photo because A) I’m using cotton, not wool, and B) I don’t have a dressmaker’s dummy, and C) no helpful teens around when I need them. So I improvised. Instead of despairing, I gathered the top of the skirt and made it fit the waistband. Sew on the waistband, flip it, press it, topstitch. Except for the hem, or what would be the hem if it weren’t all torn, because it’s a TORN skirt. See? You sew all the edges ragged. Including the hem. Anyway. Try on the skirt before I cut any from the length, and… SKREEEEEECH!

Now it gets *really* ugly. Because I look like a circus tent in this skirt. Like I’ve jumped out of an airplane and my voluminous skirt is billowing out to save my fat ass from a splattered death on asphalt. Aaaaaggggghhhhhhhh! Not good. So I did the smart thing, as taught in Home Ec those many moons ago. I folded my work and put it away.

(front and back views — note cute novelty prints. Do not note square box shape that now is what I apparently look like.)

Am going to kill self now.

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